Psych Out
by 80sUnLoveChild
Summary: What should have happened after 'Another One Bites The Dust'. Finchel overtones D


**DISCLAIMER: *****swings pocket watch***** I am not Ryan Murphy. I do not own GLEE.**

Vocal Adrenaline swaggered off stage; Jesse remained staring at Rachel, she was in shock that the boy who had sworn to her that he wouldn't break her heart could do so in such a public and humiliating way.

"I knew I didn't trust him." Kurt grumbled when the auditorium door slammed shut.

"What the hell are we supposed to do now?" Mercedes put in throwing her hands in the air. "He knows all our songs, we're screwed."

The rest of the group groaned their agreement ignoring Finn's dagger eyes at them to stop. Rolling his eyes Kurt led the group outside muttering about meeting in the choir room. Heaving a sigh Finn walked over to Rachel hesitantly touching her shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"If you're just going to say I told you so and terminate our friendship please make it quick." She answered tonelessly still staring at the stage where Jesse had stood.

"I'm sorry I said that." Finn apologized kicking himself mentally. "Of course we're friends." Throwing his whole arm around her shoulder he guided her to the door. "We need to work out strategy. They're trying to get in your head Rachel, don't let them."

"He promised." She whispered leaning against his shoulder. "He promised he wouldn't break my heart."

Finn clenched his fists resisting the urge to drive after Jesse and punch him in the face.

"Use it."

The two sprung apart at Mr. Schuester's loud voice. He looked pissed; obviously someone had filled him in. He gestured to the choir room, which was covered in toilet paper.

"What is this junior high?" Matt grunted pulling at the paper hanging from the ceiling. "I haven't TPed anywhere since I was twelve."

"Me either." Puck agreed. "That went out with _The OC _and _Panic! At The Disco_."

"Guys, you're angry." Mr. Schuester called out over the grumbling. "That's good, we can use that. VA are good, they're polished and never have a hair out of place. But they're all style."

"You need to work on you're pep talks cause this is making me more depressed." Quinn said sinking further into her chair, no one would let her help since she was eight months pregnant.

"Style can only get you so far." He continued as though he had never been interrupted. "But you need something else. And we've got it, Kurt?"

"The pity vote cause we have preggo and wheels?" He replied with some hope. Artie and Quinn both glared at him. "I'd say we have the minority definitely sewn up."

"Not what I meant." Mr. Schuester looked around, nothing but blank faces. "Come on guys, we've been through this. Rachel, you know what I'm talking about."

"Heart." She answered her sadness slowly being replaced with anger, white-hot anger. "Vocal Adrenaline are nothing short of a highly polished machine, they are forced to dress alike, weigh the same, even the girls menstruation cycles are the same."

"I don't want to know how you know that." Puck shuddered.

"Their machine." She repeated. "They have no heart, no soul. That's what we have. That's how we beat them."

Mr. Scuester snapped his fingers and pointed at Rachel. "Exactly! That's why this week instead of letting VA psyche you out I want you to find a song that's full of heart. It can be funk, blues, soul. Anything VA would never be able to pull off."

"You want us to just ignore this?" Mercedes asked incredulous tossing some of the balled up paper to Mr. Schuester.

"Yes." He caught the ball neatly and pitched it into the bin. "It will drive them crazy if you don't let this get to you. They want you scared, you know why? Because they're afraid, and they should be."

"So instead of going over and setting fire to their gym you want us to play that funky music white boy?" Puck confirmed doing a weird jive step.

"Exactly." Mr. Schuester looked over to the piano where Brad was already sitting. "Hit it."

The beat was instantly recognisable and Mike nodding his head jumped up on one of the chairs and yelled out the first lyrics.

"_Hey do it now!  
Hey, hey!" _

Mercedes not to be outdone when it comes to funk jumped up next to him copying the dance moves he was pulling out.

"_Once I was a boogie singer  
playing in a rock and roll band"_

Puck grabbed the ht off Matt's head and flipped it on sideways standing up onto the top of the bleachers snapping and then pointing at himself.

"_I never had no problems yeah  
burning down the one nights stands"_

Winking at Quinn who tried her best to look disgusted he jumped down next to Artie flipping the hat off onto his head.

"_And everything around me  
got to start to feeling so low"_

Pointing to Tina to take over the goth girl, and proud of it fell into step with the dance Mike, Matt and Mercedes were grooving to.

"_And I decided quickly, yes I did  
To disco down and check out the show"_

Clapping loudly together Brittany and Santana sang out the next part in harmony.

"_Yeah they were dancing and singing  
and moving to the grooving  
and just when it hit me  
somebody turned around and shouted"_

By now most of the group was dancing the steps in the middle of the room, Kurt had fashioned a James Brown wig out of the paper and was shaking his hips in his best impersonation.

"_Play that funky music white boy  
play that funky music right  
play that funky music white boy  
lay down the boogie and play that funky music till you die  
till you die, oh till you die"_

Finn turned to Rachel and pulled her by her hands to join in.

"_Hey baby, at first it wasn't easy  
Changing rock and roll and minds  
and things were getting shaky  
I thought I'd have to leave it behind"_

Her eyes filled with fire, a fire he hadn't seen since she had sang _Gives You Hell_, marching forward in what he could only call a strut she poured all her anger and emotion into the next lyrics.

"_But now its so much better, yeah so much better  
I'm funking out in every way  
But I'll never lose that feeling (you know I wont)"_

Her eyes flickered over to Finn and she sang the last line to him.  
_  
"Of how I learned my lesson that day."_

Santana and Brittany again jumped up and sang out their part clapping hands like kids in grade school.

"_When they were dancing and singing  
and moving to the grooving  
and just when it hit me  
somebody turned around and shouted"_

Now it was the whole of New Directions dancing around holding armfuls of toilet paper.

"_Play that funky music white boy  
play that funky music right  
play that funky music white boy  
lay down the boogie and play that funky music till you die  
till you die, oh till you die"_

"That's what I'm talking about!" Mr. Schuester clapped yelling over the bell. "All right tomorrow, I want to see what you guys have got."

She'd never once considered that Jesse had been a spy for her mother, both in the maternal and musical sense. She should have smelled rat when he insisted she listen to that tape she had never noticed before, she felt like ringing Shelby and demanding answers. But she didn't. Mr. Schuester's words had echoed through her mind all day, and she knew it was true. It was why murderers returned to the scene of the crime, it was why bullies waited and laughed when they lit the bag of dog poo on fire and left it on the front porch. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction, she was Rachel Berry; she had survived Cheerio's comments, pornographic pictures, slushie facials, the unwanted sexual attention of Jacob Ben Israel and brief idiocy of Finn Hudson. She would not let some curly haired Adam Pascal wannabe steal her dreams. He had tried, he had tried to ruin everything that mattered to her, the glee club, her friendship with Finn and of course her heart.

It's a funny thing about heartache, when you sort of know its coming it's not quite so hard to take. Ever since that _Run, Joey, Run_ debacle she had known that the end was coming, first he had gone on the trip with VA, giant red flag right there, but she had brushed it off. She had e-mailed and text about her voice but he hadn't even offered to come back and make sure she was okay. Then of course when he did return he refused to rejoin Glee and he was insanely focused on getting her to find out who her mother was. And finally, the last big giant neon sign that had her thinking they were close to splitsville, he had been 'sick' the whole of last week and had ignored her calls.

So maybe she had been expecting the break up, they had little fights about Finn, how much time she spent on glee and whether the group had any shot at Regionals. She had just never expected he would be so callous. That's what hurt, that he would so cavalier with her feelings, she really thought she had meant more to him than that. But it was just a lie all along, break the heart of the groups star and ruin their chances at Regionals, it was so pathetic it bordered on cliché.

"Uh Rachel? Class ended fifteen minutes ago and we're late for glee."

Blinking rapidly Rachel stood up ignoring the rush of blood to her head. Finn jumped back narrowly missing the falling books as they scattered on the floor.

"What were you thinking about so hard?" He asked handing over the notebook that was still blank.

"That I'm an idiot doomed to fall for idiots." She replied stuffing her books into her bag. "I fall for you and you break up with me to find your inner rock star, I fall for Jesse and he's really just a spy. Am I cursed?"

Finn chuckled. "No, Jesse is a jerk, everyone's calling him Jesse St. Jackass and well I am an idiot but at least I learn from my mistakes."

Rachel blushed and followed him out into the corridor.

"Have you got a song picked out?" She asked pulling the sheet music for hers out. Finns scratched his ear grabbing the door and pushing it open.

"Well I was going to do _I Want You Back_ you know by The Jackson Five? But I figured you'd been embarrassed in front of everyone enough." He admitted blushing slightly.

"I wasn't embarrassed Finn." She corrected him. "I was a little hurt and really angry."

Finn just nodded, the group were in the middle of some kind of giant group hug around Quinn, he was okay with Puck and Quinn but he wasn't quite at the hugging stage, he probably never would be.

"What about you? You got a song?"

Rachel nodded handing over the sheet music to Brad before heading to a chair and dropping off her bag. Finn sat down beside her and the rest of the group also retook their seats.

"Sorry I was late. I know I usually explain my song choices but I think you will all understand exactly what this is about." She announced making sure to lock eyes with each person.

"Or at least who." Kurt commented loudly.

Nodding to Brad to begin Rachel took a deep breath and pictured Jesse's smiling face, and what it would look like when New Directions won that giant trophy.

"_You know this boogie is for real."_

Rachel winked to Mercedes and went up on her tip toes, years of ballet thank you very much. Strutting across the front of the room she sang out.

"_I used to buy my faith in worship,_

_But then my chance to Heaven slipped._

_I used to worry about the future_

_But then I throw my caution to the wind."  
_

Spinning around she dropped into the seat between Matt and Mike all three moving their heads from side to side looking like Chris Tucker in _Rush Hour_.

"_I had no reason to be care free_

_No, no, no, until I took a trip to the other side of town_

_Yeah, yeah yeah, you know I heard that boogie rhythm_

_Hey- I had no choice but to get down, down, down, down."_

Jumping up she spun around thankful she had chosen jeans over a skirt today, the whole group would be getting an eyeful otherwise.

"_Dance, nothing left for me to do but dance,_

_Off these bad times I'm going through just dance_

_Got canned heat in my heals tonight baby"_

Mike was now doing the worm in front of her while she continued to do leaps around the room.

"_I feel the thunder see the lightning_

_I know this anger's heaven sent._

_So I've got to hang out all my hang-ups_

_Because of the boogie I feel so hell bent, hey hey"  
_

By now she made it to the back of the room climbing across the seats.

"_It's just an instant gut reaction, that I got_

_I know I never ever felt like this before,_

_I don't know what to do_

_But then that's nothing new,_

_Stuck between hell and high water_

_I need a cure to make it through."_

It wasn't just the admittedly small and cramped choir room but the stage at Regionals and all eyes and lights were on her.

"_Hey- dancing nothing left for me to do but dance_

_Off these bad times I'm going through just dance,_

_Hey got canned heat in my heals tonight baby_

_You know, know, know I'm gonna dance yeah_

_Off all the nasty things that people say."_

She glanced at Quinn who looked admittedly guilty at the line that Rachel sang directly at her.

"_Gonna dance, gonna dance my blues away tonight_

_Dance, come on got canned heat in my heals tonight baby_

_You know I got canned heat in my heals _

_You know this boogie is for real"_

Using Brittany's hands as a springboard she star jumped into the air being caught and then spun around by Matt and onto Mike's shoulders.

___"__Only the wind can blow the answer _

_And she cries to me when I'm asleep _

_She says you know that you can go much faster _

_I know that peoples' talk can be so cheap" _

Bunny hopping over Mike's heads she landed on the floor and twirled around lost in the energy of the song.

"_I got this voodoo child in veined on me _

_I'm gonna use my power to ascend _

_You know I got these burning heels to use _

_Sometimes there's no way to lose _

_I was born to run and built to last _

_You'll never see my feet 'cause they move so fast"_

Remembering _Centre Stage_ Rachel performed some of her ballet moves, stretching her leg in an arc over her back nearly touching her head. 

"_Dance…yeah, hey! _

_Nothing left for me to do but _

_Dance _

_All these bad times I'm going through just _

_Dance…Hey _

_Got Canned Heat in my heels tonight, baby_

_Hey I've got to dance_

_All the nasty things that people say  
Dance!  
But I'm going, ii'll make it anyway  
Dance!_

_Got canned heat in heals tonight baby"_

The final belted out she dropped in a drained heap onto her seat next to Finn. Mr. Schuester clapped enthusiastically.

"Very nice Rachel, I think we all got exactly where you were coming from."

The group laughed nodding their agreement. Kurt having been the quickest to smother his snickers raised his hand.

"Mr. Schue? Mercedes and I have been talking and we think we've got a way to give Vocal Adrenaline a taste of their own medicine."

Mr. Schuester waved his arm at them. "I'm all ears."

"We did some research." Mercedes began smiling a conspirator's smile at Kurt. "Vocal Adrenaline have never performed a funk song, ever. If we want to psych them out all we have to do is show them that we can do the one thing they can't."

"How are we supposed to get them here?" Artie interrupted. "They'll know we've got something planned."

"They're egomaniacs." Quinn speculated. "Even if they think they have us beat they wont be able to stop themselves from seeing what we have planned. They don't think anything can touch them."

Rachel looked up from her phone and cleared her throat.

"This might be easier than we thought." She held her phone up. "Jesse's outside, he wants to talk to me."

"Rachel no." Finn blurted out. "You can't talk to him not after this."

"Finn's right." Puck agreed feigning nonchalance at everyone's stunned looks. "It's got to be a set up, one last thing to make sure they break you."

"What in case the TP and Jackass wasn't enough?" Santana scoffed. "She should go, at the very least so she can slap the guy."

"Thanks Santana." Rachel said surprised at the other girls support.

"With her man hands she'd leave the biggest hand print." She finished her insult somewhat undercutting the support Rachel felt.

"I'm going." She decided waving her hands to quiet their yelling. "Wait a few minutes and then follow, if they have something planned you guys can see what it is." She started for the door. "Wait I just need one thing."

Everyone looked at each other waiting a few beats before piling into the hallway.

"Anyone else getting a bad feeling about this?" Artie asked voicing everyone's thoughts.

"Oh yeah." Mercedes agreed. "I wouldn't trust that kid further than I could throw him."

Rachel appeared a few moments later carrying a jumbo slushie with two hands. Puck smiled with recognition and turned to Finn.

"We should get refills, just in case."

Finn nodded his agreement and headed for the cafeteria, Puck ordering the girls to go watch the meeting while the guys stocked up on slushies.

"I hear you're a vegan Berry, the souls of those egg fetuses are on your conscience now." The female lead of VA sneered as the guys exited the building taking stock of Rachel covered head to toe in egg yolk.

"This is bull." Puck exploded. "Guys let's go."

"Right on." Finn agreed his grip on the slushies dangerously tight. "Time for punching."

"Guys come on violence is not the answer." Mr. Schue called out trying to stop them although admittedly half heartedly. The other guys kept walking but Kurt turned back and faced their teacher.

"Look Mr. Schue, Rachel is one of us, we're the only ones who get to humiliate her."

Artie wheeled over and bumped Kurt's legs.

"Come on lets get _Braveheart_."

Vocal Adrenaline were busy laughing at Rachel they never even noticed the infuriated boys stalking up to them until they felt the cold slushie hit them. Jesse hand still on Rachel's head stepped back when the cool frozen liquid hit his back. Eyes red with anger Rachel stepped back into his personal space.

"Go back to Carmel Jesse, its where soulless machines like you belong."

With a quick jerk of her wrist the slushie emptied on his face, she noted with satisfaction he didn't react fast enough to close his eyes. Glancing around the members of Vocal adrenaline were coated with slushie, Finn held out his hand and pulled her away glaring at the competition.

"Haven't y'all ever heard of a washing machine?" Mercedes called out leading the girls over, they too were now equipped with slushies, he'd wondered where they had disappeared. Quinn came to stand beside her new roommate, one hand rubbing her baby bump, the rest of the girls spreading out evenly.

"I don't think they wash anything, not even their skin." Quinn called out squinting. "Looks like they need a facial."

"I can help with that." Santana yelled back heaving her slushies at the closest enemy. The other girls followed suit and drenched the already sugary group.

"Come on Jesse let's go." The female leader ordered pulling on his hand before fixing murderous glances on all of them. The cars all zoomed out of the parking lot together, the group staring after them to make sure they left.

"What was that?" Mr. Schuester asked walking over to the group.

"Karma." Quinn answered starting to laugh. "McKinley High style."

It had taken three shampoos before the smell of egg was finally gone from her hair. She had burnt the clothes that had been egged as well as anything Jesse had given her, liked or touched. Luckily he'd only been in her room three times, and she hadn't really liked her bed sheets anyway.

"You ready?"

Startled Rachel looked up from the charred remains of her fire at Finn.

"For this? Definitely." She answered pulling on her hat and adjusting her shirt. Finn opened the door to his car and helped her in, the guys had decided that until Regionals were over that Rachel was a moving target and needed to be guarded at all times, Finn of course had volunteered his services straight away.

"Rach, can I tell you something?" He asked pulling out of the drive and towards the school, they were going to show Vocal Adrenaline who brought the funk.

"Sure."

"Your legs look really hot in those shorts."

Blushing she looked out the window. "Thanks Finn."

It wasn't much but she leant over and placed her hand on his thigh, softly rubbing circles. It wasn't much but it was definitely the start of something.

After seeing 'Funk' I just had to get this one-shot out of my system. Don't worry I shall update 'Anthem' very soon my pretties =D


End file.
